Frustrated...

I have been separated from my sons father for 12 almost 13 years now. We never had a court document stating custody. I know this sounds dumb on my part.  I was young and I am sure my parents would have helped me get one  but we always seemed to be able to work things out.  Mostly I believe this always worked for us because he accepted I would be keeping our son and he could see him whenever he wanted to. There has never been a enforcement of child support or anything like it.  Even in the years when he wasn't showing up to pick my son up I was calling his (the ex)  parents and letting them know they could come get him.  They did until he would start getting him again or they just couldn't afford to come out here any more.  The times when he wasn't showing up was a darker time in his life. A time where he only seemed to figure things out when he was living with his parents.  Things changed for him about 4 years ago though and he seemed to get his shit together.  I know he doesn't like my hubby and he hates it when I want to talk with my hubby before I make final plans with him ( my ex) about our son. He feels he is our son not his he has no say. I feel just the opposite.

I am not sure what has happen in the last year but for some reason he (my ex) has gotten down right hateful to me. Any time I have a problem with something and tell him about he flat out tells me he doesn't give a shit what I think.  About 2 months ago he just decided he was going to keep him for an extra day without asking. Just doing it because it was a holiday and why couldn't he?  Did see what he big deal was or why I was mad. His normal time for returning home is anywhere from 1-4 (on the early and late sides)  But regardless he should should have our son home by 6.  After not answering my calls he has his wife text me at 6:30 saying he would be a little late. Well to me it already past a little late so what time are we talking ? around 8:30.  He didn't answer his phone or text me himself because he knew I would be pissed off.  I call that being a chicken shit!  When he finally calls me back he tells me he doesn't care if I think 830 is too late to bring him home he is trying to have a bbq with his family oh and his brother is in the hospital.  Don't get me wrong I am not heartless. I care about his brothers but what does them having a family bbq have to do with his brother in the hospital? Is the bbq at the hospital or something?

Now I am at a cross road and not sure what to do.  I am tired of dealing with him treating me like that and I don't want to worry what time he is going to bring my baby home or if he is planing on doing it on the right day.  But then I know what happen when custody papers were place with his daughter. He just quit seeing her for a long time.  Who does that hurt? not me I would be happy if he would just go away. but it would devastate my son.