Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The Eventful part of the tournament...

I know this is long past but it was in my draft folder and I forgot to publish them.

Ok so let me just say I really try to get along with my ex and his family.  I try to never tell them they can have or take my son anywhere they ask.  And I absolutely do not talk about them in front of my son.  I have always been that way.  I feel that it was my choice to leave his father and every boy should have the chance to know and love each of their parents.  That being said I know my ex and his family talk , not necessarily about me but about my husband, our friends, and my sons coaches. 

I had been talking to a family friend (that married into my ex's family). I told her about my sons baseball game.  Since they were playing in  the town that his grandparents live in I thought they should know. I made my son who hadn't gone to his fathers in a while call him up and let him know that he would be playing and to make sure he told the grandparents.

In the last few innings our pitcher wasn't doing so hot.  My sons grandfather decides that he is going to start talking crap about our pitcher. Um Hello that is your grandsons team. You don't talk crap about your grandsons team.  As he is yelling about the pitcher the coach tells him to come on. (yes I know he shouldn't have. But at the same time I cant blame him.  He is going to stick up for his players)  The game ends the kids come off the field do the hand shake thing but my son doesn't.  He is already in tears about what is going on.  How insulting and embarrassing.

Then it gets even better.  My ex and his father think it is just fine to go out onto the field in front of all the kids and confront the coach.  They start to walk off only for my ex's father(we are going to call him D.) to go back out onto the field as the coach is telling him to wait he will talk with him after he is finished talking with the kids.   D announces to the whole team he is sorry. Then tells everyone who he is and what he used to do (which he hasn't don't in like 5 years). Then he says "my sons name" Papa loves you.

I am so made at this point I can hardly see.  Then my ex and his father go out to talk to the coach again.  IF you don't already know my husband is also a coach for the team and has walked away twice because my son has gone off crying. With all the crap being said he says that's enough. Don't do this here and walks off.  (I was proud of him at this point because usually he would have already been fighting).

It didn't help matters that my MIL was there talking about how my ex should be more respectful of my husband. He is after all the one raising my son and takes care of everything my son needs or wants...which is true but man do you need to add fuel to the fire?

Then my ex starts to chase after my hubby. Not a good idea.  He is only going to walk away so many times.  Had it not been for a friend of ours stopping my ex and telling him he didn't want to do that I am certain my husband, the baseball coach, the ex and his brother would have gone to jail/ hospital. While I am grateful for our friend stopping my ex, the whole time he is talking to my ex I am praying my ex doesn't say something stupid because the friend, well lets just say he likes to scrap and he doesn't mind spending the night in jail.

Out in the parking lot my husband told my son he needed to tell his grandparents and his father bye so he did.  My ex's father came and apologized.  I accepted and when he asked if I was still mad I didn't answer.  Hell yes I was still mad but it didn't need to go any farther.  The hubby is the one that let him know after I calmed down it would all be ok. He was right. I still feel like I am not the one they need apologize to.  I was embarrassed but the wrong doing wasn't done to me. It was to my son, our coaches, and the team.  They took what should have been an exciting moment for the team and destroyed it.

My personal feelings about all this is it had nothing to do with what happened on the field or anything to with baseball. It really has to do with my ex not liking my husband, and therefore not liking the coach because he is our good friend.  It was escalated because my ex isn't really the greatest dad.  He hates that I let my husband have input on decisions about my son and I really don't care what the ex thinks or says.  Sorry about his bad parenting. We take care of him, we buy him everything he needs, we pay for everything he wants to do, we make sure he is where he needs to be when he needs to be there, we feed him, we cloth him. So WE make those decisions.

My son finally saw his father again a month later.  The only reason he went is because I made him. He had gone to spend the weekend with 2 of his uncles (my ex's brothers) so I told him he needed to go to his dad's as well.  In six months (since baseball season started in March) my son has seen his father 4 times. 2 weekends, and 2 games (this being one of them).  He thinks he has a right to make decisions...I think not.

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